a "J" Not "Y" Blog

Everytime I Second Guess Why I Am In This Business...I'll Read This! 

This is from Ivan Parker's Newsletter.  This is in regards to the song "Who I Am Ain't Who I Was" that Mark Narmore, Rob Harris and Myself wrote.  Ivan recorded it on his "Joyride" cd and released it as his first single off of this album.  


I literaly pulled off of the road to finish reading this!  So, everytime I second guess why I'm in this business and why I continue to believe that God will use me and my music to make a difference...I'll pull this out and read it!


From Ivan's Newsletter:

 

 "I had a sweet lady that recently came to a concert and wanted to share with me her experience concerning one of the new songs "Who I Am Ain't Who I Was". She was in her mid thirties and had brought her young daughter to my concert mainly to hear this song. Her testimony was one that took her several years back as a teenager hanging out with the wrong crowd. She began to join in with the crowd and started to drink at a around 14 years old and found herself hanging out and doing things that she knew went against her parent's teachings. Somewhere around 18 years old she came to accept the fact that she was an alcoholic. For the next several years she lived with a lot of guilt but just kept going with her lifestyle, and at 26 years old she woke up to realize that drug addiction had also taken over her life. In the years ahead she continued to crawl closer to the edge where a decision had to made. Here is the good part! Eighteen months before our conversation took place this edge brought her face to face with a God that her parents had prayed to her whole life. She reached out to HIM for the first time and found out God's forgiveness has no boundaries! He not only saved her but delivered her from these addictions that held her captive and was destroying her life. Then another tough part of her testimony unfolded as the guilt from her past began to set in. The load that haunted her now was that she could not forgive herself. She lived everyday thinking of all the ones in her life she had disappointed and broke their hearts over and over. Then one afternoon driving down the interstate the radio came on without touching it and guess what was playing? "Who I Am Ain't Who I Was" was just starting and it caught her attention and as she listened to those words that would become hers. The spirit of release came over her and as she cried out and pulled over on the side of the interstate God began to bath her with confidence and healing that put her past where it belonged. See God still heals even today no matter what the situation so parents do not give up on that child or spouse or even a mom or dad that you have been praying for. Do not let satan steal your relationship or the joy that WILL come. Remember always to pray and give your all to God but also remember someone has your back and is praying for you!"

 

Wisdom From a Blank Piece of Paper 

 
"The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy"... John 10:10

I did not want to go to church yesterday...I mean I did...but I didn't.   But...I put on my big girl pants and went to church (not sure I was in the right frame of mind going in there...but I was straightened out by the time I left)

Ok... We have all heard " the Lord works in mysterious ways" right? Right!

So in church this morning they had Prayer Stations setup and one particular station had these white pieces of paper and what you would do is paint on that white paper with watercolors or markers. A white word would appear from underneath the color with a word that maybe you needed, or described you, or gave you a little wink from God to say... I'm here, you're on the right path, don't give up, believe in what you are doing because I believe in what you are doing.

Wanna know my word? HaHa...did you think I would give it up that easy? No way!

This past week has been really tough for me. People's actions were called into question, people I care about who use to be close were ripped apart and relationships ruined. People's morals and heart were doubted and it's safe to say things will never be the same.

In this past week several people intruded upon and had things stolen from them and didn't even realize it. That's what a thief does... He steals from us and in the commotion of trying to figure the who, what, when, how and why we don't realize what we have truly lost.
In this situation faced this past week, this if what the thief stole. Trust in one another, Belief in unrewarded kindness, Faith that our journey is worth the journey, Love in each other, Trust and caring for those hurting around us.  He replaced it with Reluctance, Disappointment, Anger and the ability to Hate another one of his children.

But what I realized Sunday morning, in that little white piece of paper was this. God was saying there is still this word. This word helps us believe that all these hurts and disappointments can be healed. This word lets you remember that there is forgiveness. This word...4 little letters...letting us know, letting ME know that when you are doing good, the thief wants to rob that from you. So you have to have this word to wake up everyday, push forward, find the stuff that thief stole from you, get it back and start over.

My white piece of paper was one of maybe 100. I pulled it from the middle of the stack because...I was a doubting Thomas that morning.

This was my word...



I will close with this. Our preacher said these words and they hit me right between the eyes! Drop your agenda's, quit trying to be right and let God love and forgive you!

It's soo PURPLE!!!!!!!!!! 


Today my entry is not about radio spins or radio stations adding my song.  It's not about cd sales and where I'll be 6 months from now.  It's not about how big a stage I can sing on or what I might say someday if I were lucky enough to receive an award.  It's not about what I should wear today or what shoes go with what outfit or how I'm going to fix my hair.

Today is about a little girl who is struggling.  Today is about a little girl who is smiling and is going to smile until her last breath is gone.  Today is about a mother and father who are looking their worst fear in the eyes... watching their "baby girl" in a fight for her life.  

For me...today is about perspective...what and who is  important in your life.  For me...today is about looking past myself and seeing what I can do for those around me. For me...today is another chance to make a difference in someone's life.  For me...today is another chance to be Salt and Light.  

I've only known Savannah for 6 months and she had me at "HI".  An amazing child from God who has been placed in this walk, I believe, to effect the lives of those around her.  And boy has she done that!!!  She's amazing...even on her worst days...she tries to smile.  Is it fair that this beautiful child is fighting Cancer for her life...NO.  Is it fair that while all the other kids her age are going to see Justin Beiber at the theater, she is stuck in a bed with unimaginable pain? NO
Is it fair that she does not know what her tomorrows may bring as she approaches her 11th birthday on February 23rd?  NO

None of it seems fair...BUT, let me tell you what this hand picked angel from God has accomplished in her 10yrs.  
She's Laughed and made others laugh.
She's cried and made others cry.
She's acted silly and made others act silly too.
She's been a wonderful daughter, an amazing big sister,  an unforgettable niece,  a precious step-daughter... and someone who has brought together thousands of people through her story, with her smile and with her heart...and to me an inspiration whom I'll will never forget.
I'm not blogging this to make everyone feel bad...not at all.  I just want to make people to be more aware and consider what's really important and what's really not.  

6 months from now I won't remember what I wore or how I did my hair or what shoes I picked out to wear on this day...but I will remember Savannah's Smile and how she befriended a stranger who was coming to her house to "cheer her up" and "encourage" her in her walk...and how that stranger...me, who wanted to be a blessing in a little girls life, walked away that evening completely blessed by her.  

I love you Savannah.
It's so PURPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/savannahswandal

All Aboard! Toot Toot 

Hello Everybody!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Welcome to my BLOG!!!!!!!!  Guess What!  I have NO IDEA as to what I'm doing!! LOL

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my music career.  Tomorrow... it all begins.  Tomorrow Tomorrow I love ya Tomorrow... you're only a day away!!!!
I remember singing this in some competition in my "younger years".   

Get those phones ready everyone...... IT'S TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Get your radio station on speed dial and wait for the secret code from me! :0)  LOL
It will be as follows:   GO! (lol)

Love ya all so much and thank you SOOOO MUCH for supporting me and my music.
God never wastes a hurt and everything happens for a reason.

t